DC Dance Party in Da House!!!

No pictures this week (a united sob from the audience), but I do have many words which will paint a picture in your mind. So everyone sit back and open up your imagination's, this sounds like the beginning of a Sesame Street episode. Karissa and I have just returned from a trip to Washington DC. Fear not I will get the pics of the trip up pronto. We saw everything we could in a few days, from the White House to the crazy's that walk about swearing. Ah memories..... We hooked up with B-Rock and went dancing. That Obama can do the hustle like nobody's business!!! He was smooth but the same can not be said for his lovely horse.... I mean wife. But what do you expect from a women that is as broad as a bulldozer, but to her defense she does a mean robot!! So this was a good highlight apart from the many historical sights we saw. We left our house in disarray because of a flood. I am not exaggerating when I say that Noah had nothing on what we had to go through. Maybe that is a bit much but at least Noah did not have to deal with Stove Top floating about his office. But we are dried out now and happy to be home. However, I will not be eating Stove Top stuffing anytime to soon.

December cometh like a Ninja (Throwing Stars Not Included)

A hardy happy December 1st to you all!! I am sure you all enjoyed the turkey day and are feeling the fun regret after. Our Thanksgiving was nothing to brag about so that is all I will say on the matter. Mya is going to be 18 months this week, so that is exciting. She is repeating everything, so no more swears. Just kidding, you can curse around the child if you need too. So what is everyone asking Santa for Christmas? I am hoping for lingerie. I love the way lace and satin caress my skin and it really makes me feel pretty. Karissa thinks I look best in a shear babydoll. I hope you all are able to picture the beauty of me in the outfit, and only the outfit, maybe some heels for the sexy legs. Well enough of my wife's disturbing fantasy and let us rescue our minds from the dark gutter from which it has been placed. It sure is a good thing no one reads my blog otherwise people may think me a bit strange. Okay, go out and party like it is 0 BC, because of Chirstmas, birth of Christ, uhh.... you guys get what I am saying. I gotta go get groceries (check the alliteration), need anything??

Is Anyone Out There?

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I am sure that no one is reading my blog anymore so I will ramble on using only swear words. Nah, I can't think of that many anyway. For anyone who reads this, I have been very delinquent in upkeep on the old blog. I got real busy trying to start my company in August. If you want to see the site it is, www.lastwordstudios.com. The rest of the time is spent partying with Miss Mya. The kid is a nut!! I swear she is crazy. Mya has no fear about climbing or jumping off of anything. But so far nothing broken, just some bumps and bruises. She was Supergirl for Halloween and looked great. Karissa is having so much fun working, NOT!! A bit depressing working with folks in foreclosure and all. We are planning a trip to DC in December which will be wicked awesome. Maybe I will see Obama. If I did I would be like,"Hey you're like a terrorist. Be cool and don't blow up my house". Then he would be like,"Solid! I can dig it my man". That would be an awesome conversation, the kind that only dreams are made of and more. For all those wondering, no I do not think Obama is a terrorist. But his wife could easliy pass for a spot at the Kentucky Derby. She is huge!!! She probably threatened Barrack to run for president. "You be president or I will break you in two." I would be scared of her too. Barrack our prayers go out to you in trying to avoid your wife. Well, kids this is all for the return of the mack/blog. I will write again soon, so make sure you become one of my followers to find out about all the fun and adventure there is to have. Word to your Mothers.

Great Start for July

Happy 5th of July to everyone!! I am sure each of you had a wicked bash to celebrate our independence. In honor of the founding fathers we blew stuff up!! Actually I did not but our great neighbors did around midnight. I went outside and shook my cane at them and told them to cut off that racket. I need my beauty sleep, this sweet piece of man candy does not just happen. I would like to announce that my wife and I celebrated our fifth anniversary on the 1st!!! Yeah that's right, she stayed for five years. I know some people owe me money. I actually believe that Karissa has not made a run for the border yet because she thinks I have a large inheritance coming to me. But don't tell her that there is nothing, it will be our little secret, hee hee. We saw the most romantic movie, "Hulk", isn't that sweet, the big green man is hitting everyone, reminds me of our wedding. Then Karissa got sick at dinner, and we went home early. I would have to say that this date is in my top five, well.........................
at least top ten. As for Mya, she is the noisest freakin' kid out there! I am not joking. We went to the mall and there was a ton of kids, and she blew them all away. Other than being a banshee she is adorable and fun. We also took her on the boat for the first time. Mya had fun, all the rest of us discovered that we are out of shape. My body said to me after the experience,"Oh, so you can't sit around for a year and then do activities. Dang, Twinkie the Kid lied to me!" Alright, it is off to bed for our little clan. One note, tonight after Karissa laid Mya down and was leaving, Mya rolled over and said, "See ya". She is a cute kid. Peace to all my peeps, both chicks and bunnies.

Oodles of Pictures in a week

My dear wife informed me that I was doing a insufficient job of posting pictures, so here are a gaggle. These pictures tell a lot of what we have been doing. We had Mya 's birthday numero uno on the 5th. Karissa made Mya the wicked butterfly cake. She ate with a spoon and was very methodical about the whole thing. I proceeded to recreate a dishwasher in cake form. I did this because the dishwasher is Mya's favorite toy. So you can check out the picture of our cakes, and yes there is a floor, rug, and plant made from fondant. Check out the pics of Mya jammin' on Rockstar!! If you are not excited that is fine, Mya will do it for you. The last picture is our band of misfits at my sister's wedding on the 7th. Along with all of this Father's Day just came around, and I got waffles!! My wife is totally awesome, and smokin' Hot!!!! So we have been busy as bees, minus making honey. Oh yeah, I am starting my own business doing video editing for weddings and stuff. So if anyone has videos they would like me to put together let me know. I did Kaiti's wedding video and it turned out great. Email if you want or tell all the people you ever meet and they can email me. Well thanks for reading and all of you go eat something, you look to thin.

Mya of the Carribean: Cursed Nipples of Fortune

I know I have slacked in my blogging efforts but ye behold, the World shall be blessed with another blog entry. There was much rejoicing!! As you can see from the video, Miss Mya is walking. Now she looks like a drunken sailor baby. Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a baby's life for me. Pass the bottle around but bring your own nipples! Well it is becoming spring and the weather is getting warmer, it also means that we are about a week away from Mya's 1st birthday. I would like to congratulate Mya on her perseverance through her first year of life. Not an easy job considering the father. If anyone wants to get her a present, then she really wants a new Macbook. I will post pictures of the wicked party that is going to go down. But goodbye for now, and a merry June to you all.

Donde esta la bibliotheque?

Hola to you all and a happy Cinco de Mayo!!! I am sure that you all have big plans involving tacos or queso in some form. This week I find myself in an interesting situation. Mya and I are alone for the whole week since Karissa is on a business trip to Ohio. Karissa told me that if Mya starts to walk when she is away, to push her down, and stop her. So this week I am on the look out to stunt any growth my child might make. One of the simple joy's of parenting. Mother's day is coming up and as some of you may recall the idea of womb candy was blogged about previously. Anyone that reads this needs to share with everyone else their ideas for their mom. Then we can compare to see who is a good child and who is not, it will be awesome. But before we even get to the Mom's, let us party with mucho ranchero musique y grande pinatas. Ole!!

Things that make you go Ha!!

If you did not laugh at the video then you may need to check your pulse. This is one of those videos that should be shared with everyone. The family and I went the zoo this last week. My favorite was the guys that brought beer and got smashed. Because you know, the zoo is better with a buzz. These are the kind of people that end up falling into the gorilla cage, and then they win money on Funniest Home Videos. Life makes sense once more. We also saw a baby left alone asleep in his stroller. We looked for the parents but nada. I guess they missed the class about keeping your infant with you when you walk. After we got security to get the kid to customer service (25 minutes later) the group of three people finally ran up. This is your feel good moment of the day. Also, everyone check out the cool search engine I put on the blog. Try it out, you can actually find things. I will end today by saying if your going to leave your child stranded anywhere, remember to take your nachos off the top of the stroller before you get too far.

A chair, to be or not to be?

I have been thinking what life would be like as a chair. You wouldn't really do much with yourself, but there in would lie the blessings of being a chair. What would everyone expect of you? To be a chair!! As said chair I would feel that I was truly being all that I could be. Since this has been my thought process for the last few days, I have accomplished as much as a chair would on a day to day basis. Life does indeed continue to rattle on and we are all partners on the love train that is our existence. Sweet Mya has discovered how to crawl under things. Now, my genius barricade of the coffee table is obsolete. But not to worry, I fixed the problem by shoving pillows under the table. Me smart do things good.
I will say that I wasted my time with a terrible movie called "The Invisible". I am so upset about watching it that I am warning anyone within the sound of my blog to stay away!! It was just so bad, like suck the life out of you bad. I am still recouping from this experience, and yes, you may send cards or balloons to help me get better. Well, everyone go now and be the best dang chair you could be, or a stool if your dream is to be such. But then you will get all the jokes from the chairs about stool samples and stuff, so you make the call.

I Have Returned!!!!!

After an extended void of posts I have finally returned!! Inspired by the vast readership of this blog I will now press forward and entertain you all. Well, we moved to Salt Lake City to get more smart. But the idea has since changed and I will not become known as Dr. Berndt. But anyone of you can call me that and I will still preform cheap surgery in my basement. Now I am the coolest stay at home Dad ever!! As I write this, Mya is busy playing with chemicals or some sharp object. Karissa is the winner of bread right now. So our life has thrown another fun curve. I feel like Moses, God said go that way with all my people, and he walked into the desert, smiling and skipping all the way, parting this and smiting that. Now, the Lord said to us, "Hey, go to Utah and become a doctor, it will be totally rad!" That is not a direct quote from God, because we all know that the Lord is hip and with it, so He would not use the word "rad".
I hope you all enjoy the Mya pictures. There will be more to come as I am going to attempt to make a posting either daily or every other day. Please come back and bring a friend because nobody should blog alone, it's just sad. Like that dog at the pound that you know no one is going to adopt. Sad, just sad.
Homework: Go adopt a pet.

No Pictures but Plenty of Placenta

I apologize for another pictureless posting since I know everyone only visits to see the pics of Mya. The camera is in hiatus while we get the move on. But please, wipe your eyes and prepare to be dazzled by my terribly incomplete grasp of the english language.

The boxes continue to pile up around us and soon box forts will be plentiful. Our move takes place in about 10 days. SLC ain't ready for the kind of craziness bombs I'm gonna drop. Now that you have reached the half way point take a minute for an intermission dance party!!!

I hope you sufficently found your groove thing and then was quick to get upon the aforementioned groove. A reminder to everyone: Valentine's Day is coming up, so don't forget to purchase many heart shaped items. We should put shapes to more holidays. I think that Mother's Day could be the shape of a womb, kind of oblong or something, and just think of the candy you could put into it! Everyone post their ideas for womb candy. I would get one with achocolate umbilical cord and caramel placenta. I would love to see that commercial. "Mmm, Mmm, that's a delicious placenta!!"

I hope you all are now thinking of your mother's womb and what candy can be put into it. But for now free womb candy to you all!!!!

This Train is Leaving the Station

Saturday is a special day!! Welcome to the weekend everyone, I am enjoying this weekend because my last day of work was Friday. Come Monday I will be jumping on the unemployment train. Choo-Choo!!! Or as Ralph Wiggum would say, "You choo-choo choose me."
We are going to keep up the packing and get ready for the move. We are going to move to Salt Lake City, for all those who were curious. I look forward to moving large boxes in a snow storm.
As for this weekend, I will spend my time watching PBS. There is always a great show on about fish or something. Karissa brought up a good point last time we watched PBS. Should we really watch PBS if we never make donations to their many telethons? This is a question for you all to discuss while you wait for the next fun filled blog.

WWTIHD? (What Would The Incredible Hulk Do?)

Welcome to the 2007 award winning blog!! I had to take time off to celebrate but now we are back to get that groove thang a shakin'. Karissa and I are currently in the process of getting ready to move to Utah, being laid off sure is fun! I would like to thank my company for the absence of severance.

Aside from the whole moving thing all is regular for us, ya know, sex, drugs, & rock n' roll. Mya is out growing everything she owns, so her clothes make her look like the incredible hulk. You won't like Mya when she is angry!! Notice the picture, just like the Hulk, the pants always stay on. This is all for now but be prepared, the laughs keep rolling with the Berndt's. See ya'll real soon!